Local resident insists extraterrestrials were “very polite” and asked detailed questions about recycling.
Oregon City, OR — An 82-year-old Oregon City resident says he recently made first contact with extraterrestrial life shortly after walking down a street he described as “so saturated with the smell of marijuana it felt federally illegal.”
In an exclusive interview, longtime resident Harold Jenkins said the encounter occurred late Tuesday evening on Main Street near 7th Avenue, moments after he exited what he believed to be “the loudest-smelling cloud of weed in municipal history.”
“I thought I was having a stroke,” Jenkins said calmly. “But then the aliens introduced themselves, and strokes don’t usually do that.”
“They Were Short, Shiny, And Extremely Organized”
According to Jenkins, the aliens appeared seconds after a low humming noise filled the street, followed by a glowing flying saucer hovering “about one stop sign off the ground.”
“Classic saucer shape,” Jenkins explained. “Like a plate, but confident.”
Jenkins described the beings as roughly four feet tall, hairless, metallic-gray, and wearing what he called “matching outfits, like a bowling team from space.”
“Big eyes. No mouths. Very judgmental posture,” he added. “They looked at me like I hadn’t composted properly.”
Interview: “They Asked About Recycling And The HOA”
Jenkins said the aliens spoke directly into his mind and immediately began asking questions about local governance.
“First thing they asked was why trash pickup is every other week,” Jenkins said. “Second thing was if Oregon City has an HOA. I told them yes, and they visibly recoiled.”
The aliens reportedly took notes on a floating tablet, occasionally nodding and murmuring something Jenkins interpreted as “wow, that’s worse than Mars.”
The Smell “May Have Opened A Portal,” Resident Says
Before the encounter, Jenkins said he had walked through a block where the smell of marijuana was “so aggressive it had texture.”
“I’ve lived through the ’60s,” he said. “This was not the ’60s. This was the future.”
Jenkins believes the odor may have weakened the barrier between dimensions.
“I think the weed softened reality,” he explained. “Next thing I know, I’m negotiating Earth’s reputation with a being named something like ‘Glorp.’”
Aliens Departed After 90 Seconds
The encounter ended abruptly when one alien reportedly looked around, scanned the area, and announced they had “seen enough.”
“They said, ‘We will observe from orbit,’” Jenkins recalled. “Which felt rude, but fair.”
The saucer then accelerated vertically “like a government expense report,” disappearing into the sky without a sound.
City Officials Decline Comment
When reached for comment, Oregon City officials declined to confirm or deny the encounter, noting only that marijuana smell complaints are “currently under review.”
Jenkins, meanwhile, remains convinced the experience was real.
“I know what hallucinations look like,” he said. “These aliens had an agenda.”
At press time, Jenkins confirmed he plans to avoid Main Street at night unless he is “emotionally prepared for interstellar diplomacy.”
