Experts warn incorrect usage may immediately expose you as an outsider.
PORTLAND, OR — City officials and longtime residents are urging newcomers to begin intensive verbal training before moving, specifically mastering the phrase “It’s the weather”, which locals confirm is used in place of explanations, emotions, and occasionally medical diagnoses.
The advisory follows multiple reports of new residents freezing mid-conversation along SE Hawthorne Boulevard and standing silently in light drizzle at Mount Tabor Park, waiting for a more detailed explanation that never arrives.
“They kept asking follow-up questions,” said one resident. “That’s how we knew immediately—they hadn’t trained.”
Phrase Now Required for Basic Communication
According to a newly published local guide, “It’s the weather” can be used in at least 94% of daily interactions, including:
- explaining why you’re wet
- explaining why you’re dry but emotionally wet
- ending conversations you don’t want to continue
- reacting to anything mildly inconvenient
“If you say anything more specific, people get uncomfortable,” one resident explained. “Details feel aggressive.”
Newcomers Report Early Mistakes
Recent arrivals say they initially tried to describe conditions using precise language.
“I said ‘It’s raining pretty hard,’” one newcomer admitted. “Everyone just stared at me until I corrected myself.”
Another reported accidentally saying “weird weather today,” prompting nearby residents to gently intervene.
“They pulled me aside and said, ‘We don’t evaluate the weather. We accept it.’”
Locals Demonstrate Advanced Usage
Experienced residents say tone and timing are critical.
“It’s not just what you say, it’s when you say it,” one local explained. “For example, if it’s sunny, you still say it—but slower.”
Advanced users are able to deploy the phrase in complex scenarios:
“I once used it to explain a delayed email,” another resident said. “No one questioned it.”
Experts Confirm Phrase Replaces Emotional Processing
Behavioral analysts say the phrase functions as a city-wide coping mechanism.
“Instead of asking ‘Why is this happening?’ residents say ‘It’s the weather’ and move on,” one expert noted. “It’s remarkably efficient.”
City Warns of Consequences for Improper Use
Officials caution that incorrect phrasing may result in immediate identification as an outsider.
“If you hesitate before saying it, people notice,” a spokesperson said. “If you try to elaborate, they will leave.”
Situation Remains Predictably Unpredictable
At press time, a group of residents stood in simultaneous rain and sunlight, calmly repeating “It’s the weather” in unison, while a confused newcomer nearby checked three different weather apps and whispered, “But what does that mean?”
